Surviving Seasonal Affective Disorder
The Big Move
It's the middle of May as I write this, and it’s dumping sleet outside. Sleet is not snow, not hail, not freezing rain, it’s a melted snowflake that refreezes before it hits the ground. Why do I know this, and other words like graupel and squall? Because I moved from Southern California to the highest incorporated city in the United States two years ago. Living at high elevation in the Rocky Mountains has forced me to adapt quickly to extreme weather conditions, or at least try to. The locals give the advice to always have four seasons of clothing packed in the car because all four seasons can happen in a day here.
The move to Leadville was somewhat impulsive. My life was not moving in a positive direction, and I was feeling burned out for quite some time. I was unhappy at work, my relationship with my partner was deteriorating, and I wasn’t feeling driven or motivated to work towards anything exciting. I was stuck in a rut, and I randomly got propositioned to interview for a job that sounded perfect for me. The interview took place in August, and I made a quick visit to Leadville to see if it was a place I could live.
August in Leadville is gorgeous. It’s sunny, mountain peaks, and remnants of wildflowers surrounding slow moving creeks as all the snow melt dries up. I remember the hiring director jokingly saying, “I hope you like to ski!” I didn’t like to ski, but I was adventurous and was excited about the new possibilities and outdoor recreation. Afterall, I love the mountains and getting outdoors. I was a self proclaimed “sun baby” and believed that I would be completely happy living outside. What I didn’t realize was that living in Leadville would have me inside under a heating blanket or outside completely bundled up for most days of the year.
2. Bundle Up Buttercup
“It’s sunny,” they say, but I don’t think they realize what sunny is. One bizarre thing that I learned during the first year in Leadville is that it can be too cold to snow. The sun is out and there is not a cloud in the sky, throw on a light coat and step outside. That first breath of cold air was always rejected in a short coughing fit. On some days, it felt like there would never be enough layers to keep me warm. It’s a rush to and from the car and whatever heated building I was sprinting to. Then I would daydream about the end of the day when I could get under my heating blanket and warm away the bone chill.
So yes, it is quite sunny in Colorado. However, your skin is rarely exposed to the sun, not for months at a time. This fact crept up on me. I was so focused on trying to stay warm and stay alive in blizzards and icy road conditions, that I didn’t realize how little sun I was getting. On top of that, I have now experienced cabin fever, which contributed more to my declining mental health. Add the pandemic and I was spending days or weeks alone in my house, watching snowfall from my window and wishing I could go outside and play in the sun.
I finally snapped and flew to California after an exceptionally hard winter holiday season. Holidays that I would typically spend with my family were spent alone. I had been crying every day, not sleeping, and having thoughts of dying way too often to feel safe alone at this point. I showed up with puffy eyes and rub burn around my nose from wearing my snug KN95 mask for 8 hours en route. The first thing I wanted to do was go to the beach, and it was my luck that the sun was shining bright in January. I hadn’t packed a bathing suit because I wasn’t planning on beach weather, so I laid out in my underwear. I immediately began to cry, almost sob, at the warmth on my skin. My body felt starved and was having a visceral response to the sunshine. It was something that I needed so badly, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to go without anymore.
3. Vitamin D and Me
Vitamin D isn’t something that I have generally given much thought about before living in a Colorado mountain town. I knew a couple of small factoids, but my understanding of its importance was limited. Thanks to the interwebs, I know quite a bit more about the different types of vitamin D and how to get enough into your system for healthy functioning. I know that vitamin D is not only important for bone health, it’s also important for brain functioning and mental health. Low levels of vitamin D have been observed in people with Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, and Schizophrenia. Mental health issues have become more prevalent than ever, making them the second leading cause for disability in the world (S. Ristic et al, 2017), and this phenomenon is impacting people of color and minority populations the most.
There are two main types of vitamin D - vitamin D2 and vitamin D3. These vitamins affect calcium absorption, bone density, and mental health. They are both super important if you value movement and happiness. You can get vitamin D from the foods you eat, like eggs, milk, salmon and tuna, from direct exposure to sunlight, and from supplements. “Exposure to sunlight accounts for over 90% of the vitamin D requirement for most individuals,” (Holick, 2004). People who live closest to the equator get the most exposure to the ultraviolet B radiation needed to increase vitamin D in the body during the spring and fall months.
The type of vitamin D your body processes from sunlight is D3, so if you’re lacking sun exposure in your life this is the type of supplement you would consider taking. However, use with caution, too much vitamin D can cause high levels of calcium in the blood which can lead to other medical conditions. According to specialists at Yale Medicine, the recommended dose for a healthy person under the age of 70 is 600 IU per day, and for those over the age of 70 the recommendation is 800 IU. I’ve been taking 1000 IU of vitamin D3 per day with no issues.
Depending on who you ask, it’s debatable if vitamin D deficiency is a widespread epidemic, but everyone agrees that levels drop during winter time when we spend less time outdoors. In Leadville, winter can last about 7 to 8 months, so this is enough length of time to assume that I was lacking a natural source of vitamin D. That being said, there are risks to lengthy exposure to the sun, and sunscreen limits the amount of vitamin D we can naturally create from the sunlight.
Final verdict from the Yale Medicine researchers is to make sure that your diet and supplements include vitamin D, especially if you’re spending most of your time indoors and out of direct sunlight. Include exercise in your mental health maintenance plan, and get outside as much as possible with proper sun protection.
4. SAD Explained
Seasonal Affective Disorder, commonly referred to as SAD, is a type of depression linked to the changes in seasons. People who suffer from SAD will usually find that their mood slumps when the days get shorter in winter, and they may start to feel better as the days lengthen during spring and summer. However, SAD can be observed during any seasonal transition, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Mood changes can be so severe that they affect your daily activities and cause changes in your behavior that may lead to damaged relationships or inability to perform at work.
SAD is a type of depression that follows a seasonal pattern and can last about 4-5 months out of the year. People with winter-pattern SAD have slightly different symptoms than people with summer-pattern SAD. Generally, both will look very similar to major depression. Symptoms must be experienced for at least two years and associated with the seasonal changes in order to be diagnosed with SAD. The following symptoms are listed directly from the National Institute of Mental Health on Seasonal Affective Disorder:
Symptoms of major depression may include:
Feeling depressed most of the day, nearly every day
Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed
Experiencing changes in appetite or weight
Having problems with sleep
Feeling sluggish or agitated
Having low energy
Feeling hopeless or worthless
Having difficulty concentrating
Having frequent thoughts of death or suicide
For winter-pattern SAD, additional specific symptoms may include:
Oversleeping (hypersomnia)
Overeating, particularly with a craving for carbohydrates
Weight gain
Social withdrawal (feeling like “hibernating”)
Specific symptoms for summer-pattern SAD may include:
Trouble sleeping (insomnia)
Poor appetite, leading to weight loss
Restlessness and agitation
Anxiety
Episodes of violent behavior
5. Surviving Seasonal Affective Disorder
Many people write off symptoms as having the “winter blues.” They may not notice the significance in their lives or don’t acknowledge that 4-5 months of the year is a substantial amount of time to suffer from depression. And for some, they may know it will end soon and just grit their teeth and get through it. SAD and major depression are difficult conditions to live with that rob you from truly experiencing all of life’s joys and potential. There are mainstream and alternative treatments that are proven to decrease the symptoms of SAD.
There are two great places to start. One, find a therapist you trust and start to build a relationship. Your therapist pays careful attention to your moods, patterns, and knows your history based on what you share. Your therapist is often the best person to work with your medical or psychiatric provider in prescribing medications. Which is the second place to start, schedule a psychiatry appointment and have a medication evaluation. This is an option for most people and it’s one that has proven to work in the reduction of symptoms of depression.
I am aware that many people are averse to medication, which is totally fine if you’re able to maintain the quality of life that is right for you. Alternative methods in managing SAD are light therapy and exercise. You may also need a sleep hygiene routine, vitamins and supplements to get proper nutrition and fuel your body, and a behaviorally focused routine to keep you on track with getting things done. Managing SAD in this way is totally doable and takes preparation, planning, and accountability. One of the biggest success factors for managing any mental health struggle is having a support system that allows you to be vulnerable and honest about what you are experiencing without judgement. If you do not naturally have those supports in your life, it’s okay to start creating that community in support groups available online or in-person.
